Dear Abby: My husband’s family keeps asking me when I’m going to quit my job and work for him. My mother-in-law worked for my father-in-law’s small business almost her whole life. My husband recently bought his father’s company, and it’s doing very well.
I am career driven and have risen through the ranks at my company. I adore my husband and we are very proud of each other’s careers. My salary is equal to his at his company. We both agree that I intend to pursue my own career path and that quitting my job would negatively impact our lifestyle.
How can I politely tell people that I’m not quitting my job without coming across as an unsupportive wife or a conceited person? — Be confident in your direction
Dear Shure: Assuming your in-laws mean well when they ask, smile, tell them you have no plans to retire and that your husband is completely supportive of you continuing your career, then change the subject.
Dear Abby: A woman I’ve known and been friends with for 40 years has been slowly changing. She has been having health problems, and whenever she calls me, all she talks about is her illness and her treatment.
When we do manage to discuss other topics, she broaches the subject of political views that differ from mine. I try to be vague or change the subject, but it’s getting harder and harder. Now I cringe when I see her caller ID.
I don’t know why she is pushing me like this when she has other friends. I feel like our friendship is over and I want to end it as painlessly as possible. What should I do? — USED UP IN FLORIDA
For the worn out you: It shouldn’t be that hard. Next time you talk to her and the topic of politics comes up, be clear and tell her that not only do you disagree, but you’re going to vote for the opposite party. I guarantee she’ll throw you out like a hot potato.
Dear Abby: I’ve been slowly working my way through grad school, taking one course per semester, and now, after four long years, I’m finally graduating. I work in my industry and would like to celebrate by inviting some of my colleagues over dinner. I’d love to cover everyone’s expenses, but it’s just not financially possible.
Can I word my invitations well so everyone knows I’m inviting them to dinner, not treating them. I don’t want to embarrass them with expected expectations. — I’m ready to celebrate.
Dear READY: A “formal” invitation may not be appropriate – since this is a casual event without a host, it may be less confusing to simply call your coworkers and let them know you’d like to get together if they want to celebrate with you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jeanne Phillips) and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby can be contacted at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Jean Phillips