Dating apps have completely changed the face of romance in recent years. While they offer the convenience of connecting with just a swipe of a finger, many people are finding that the apps have also become a breeding ground for harassment.
It is no wonder, therefore, that many people decide to become “boy sober.”
When Dr Lisa Portlan studied dating apps and intimacy in 2020, most of the women she studied had experienced technology-enabled violence, including harassment, fraud, abusive behavior, requesting or receiving unsolicited sexual images, bullying, and even stalking.
Julia Fox is one of many names known to have joined this club.
Boy Sober is a self-care initiative that involves abstaining from all dating activities, including sex, for one year.
Sobriety is a time of introspection, healing and self-reflection, while also focusing on both personal and romantic goals. The movement began as a monthly comedy show hosted by comedian and storyteller Hope Woodard in Brooklyn and has since grown into a social media trend, gaining popularity among TikTok users, especially women from Gen Z.
Why are boy sobers becoming popular?
The decline in dating app usage and the rise of TikToks with the hashtag “boy sober” suggest that more women are turning to boy sobers.
As of now, there are at least 555 posts under this hashtag.
Dating app usage has been steadily declining, with popular dating app Tinder reporting a 5 percent drop in user activity in 2021.
Shares of Tinder’s parent company, Match Group, and Bumble have been falling consistently, a trend that’s only making things harder for these companies given that more than 90% of Gen Zers have expressed dissatisfaction with dating apps, according to a survey by youth research institute Savanta.
Many people seem to be experiencing dating app fatigue: They’re becoming increasingly tired of swiping through dating apps and spending money on half-baked dates.
Natasha Silverman, relationship counselor at Related, says: “If you’re feeling burned out by dating, it might be time to take a break and focus on the things you love and the important people in your life.”
“When you feel more confident and secure, it completely changes the way you think about dating. It helps you understand who you are as a person and what you can tolerate.”
What trends are similar to Boy Sober?
There’s also a Girl Sober version for men, the rules are pretty much the same.
Another term similar to boy/girl sober is “nonamorie,” a lifestyle or method of dating that excludes any kind of intimate, committed relationship, whether platonic or romantic.
People who don’t like romantic relationships tend to be in romantic relationships, but they are very different from traditional romantic relationships.
The opposite of non-romantic or boy/girl sober is polyamory, which is the practice of having multiple romantic partners.
