Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guides to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more
Stay ahead of the curve with our weekly guides to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more
HHave you heard this is the summer of the “Hot Rodent Boyfriend”? Me neither.
Sadly, Pizza Rat didn’t get to shine and find love in New York, and the latest internet trend is something far more sinister and vulgar: A certain faction of the internet seems to have decided that for the next few months, the desirable male aesthetic is anthropomorphized vermin.
As a short, single man who has sometimes been called a “noisy rat,” I have to say I’m excited about this new trend. From June through September, there’s suddenly a line of eligible women eager to join in on the steamy affair. I’ll definitely be joining in.
But the “hot rodent boyfriend” craze is just the latest example of how we, as an online society, have collectively lost our minds. Simply put, a “hot rodent boyfriend” is a generally attractive man, typically a celebrity, who falls into the “mouse or rat range” of animal comparisons.
Maybe that doesn’t do much harm when you consider Hollywood actors like Josh O’Connor and Tom Holland, who have angular faces and endearing, affable personalities. There’s also no denying that Jeremy Allen White doesn’t embody certain traits of Remy. Ratatouille Running around the kitchen bear.
Some men probably wouldn’t mind being compared to fictional rodent characters like the suave, tuxedoed Roddy from Dreamworks’ 2006 animated masterpiece. Carried awayor the timeless classic, “Stuart Little.”
But in the end, you’re just portraying men as rats, an animal historically associated with cunning, filthiness, and the literal plague that wiped out some 25 million people across continental Europe in the 14th century.
This is not to say that some men don’t deserve the label – their behavior makes them filthy nuisances and a scourge on society – but it seems a bit odd that this long-held dogma has suddenly been overturned and being compared to a rat is now considered a good thing.
Other features that appear on various lists of “hot boyfriends” include beady eyes, large, protruding ears, and, as one media outlet bluntly put it, “something going on with his mouth and nose.” How fascinating.
Does the ideal man still live with bristly hair, dirty, in the dark, surrounded by piles of trash and discarded e-cigarettes, munching on rotten leftovers? In today’s world, it’s not such a difficult concept to realize.
The standards for this new trend are also ridiculously vague: In the 10 minutes I spent Googling (which, let’s be honest, was longer than it was worth), I saw lists of “hot boyfriends,” one of which included two men: Timothée Chalamet and Glen Powell, two men at complete opposite ends of the straight, white, male scale. Willy Wonka versus Top Gun: Maverick!
We must therefore conclude that rats are as diverse as the humans they are being compared to: since any human can become a rat, perhaps a human can become another, less unpleasant, animal, such as a seal.
And what if we brought that kind of animal comparison trend over to the other side? What if a trend started where people compared internet-famous women to, say, anteaters? “The Summer of Hot Anteater Girlfriends.” It would be all the rage.
Of course, this is a very tongue-in-cheek interpretation and not the reality: women are constantly under intense public scrutiny about body image and beauty standards in a way that men just can’t comprehend.
We should all count ourselves lucky that the internet sometimes finds us attractive, even if we look like some weird, unkempt little devil. #KieranCulkin.
In fact, the Viral X post that supposedly started the current rodent-partner craze read, “Men are handsome as eagles, handsome as bears, handsome as dogs, or handsome as reptiles.” So, in some ways, they’re still “handsome.”
Either way, when compared Anyone It’s never a nice thing to do to mice or mice-related species, in fact it’s a pretty nasty thing to do.
The internet is not without its share of “nice” trends. Last year, attractive male celebrities were described as “very baby girly.” Personally, I’m still not entirely sure what that means, but the reaction was generally positive.
Before that, there was the “Golden Retriever Boyfriend,” which seemed to celebrate men being goofy, loyal, and having nice hair (albeit a little goofy). Travis Kelcy fell into this category, probably because no one had the guts to call him a rat to his face.
Like internet trends, “Hot Rodent Boyfriend” will likely fade away quickly. I think the next one will be about actually going out. I suggest “Hot Friends Summer Where We Get Off Our Bloody Phones And Do Fun Activities In The Park” for next year.
Until then, you’ll find me dragging a slice of pizza over the subway tracks, searching for love.
