Dear Abby: My husband and I have a friend named “Sophie.” She is cheating on her husband of 25 years. Of course, this is none of our business. But now, without her husband’s knowledge, she has incorporated a lover into her daily life. Her lover is from India and is also married. Sophie is now obsessed with all things Indian, wearing saris, dancing in her lover’s dance troupe, and applying henna all over her body.
My husband and I run a small business with Sophie and her husband, but I feel more and more uncomfortable every day as Sophie constantly confides in me about her and her boyfriend’s sex life, her addictions, the way she has pursued him, etc. I told her she was playing with fire, and now I remain silent, hoping she will stop. Meanwhile, Sophie has started a new business and is incorporating him into her life every day.
We love Sophie’s husband. He is a good and trustworthy man. I definitely won’t tell him what’s going on, but we need to get away from her. How can I explain to my husband that I’m leaving on a professional and personal level without hurting his feelings? He will ask why. He is a kind and caring man and I feel very close to both of us. Any gentle suggestions? — Knowing too much
Dear ones, you know: First, try to keep you and your husband away from these people. If Sophie continues to confide in you, tell her that you don’t approve and that you don’t want to hear any more about her affairs. Sooner or later, your husband will wake up to the fact that something is going on, so you may not need to worry about keeping quiet in front of him.
Since you don’t mention how closely your financial interests are tied to Sophie and her husband, I will assume that you are not solely dependent on them. That’s why you and your husband should consider telling Sophie’s husband that your financial situation has changed “in light of the economic situation” and that you need to let go of your interest in the business. An attorney can help you with this.
Dear Abby: I have an identical twin sister who lives in another state. I am married, but she has never been married. At 62, she still demands that I live her way. I love her, but I am an adult now. I live by my own rules. She seems to resent that I don’t think and act the same way she does. FYI, she works from home and sets her own schedule. I work in a call center. What do you guys think? — I love my freedom in Iowa.
Dear Like: At 62, you have the right to live your life exactly the way you want. So does your sister. You may be the same person, but that doesn’t mean you have to think the same. Remind your twin sister of that the next time she takes out her frustrations on you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jeanne Phillips) and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby can be contacted at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
