- I have a 4 year old son and I forgot to sign him up for summer camp.
- I wanted my son to have summers similar to those I had growing up in the 1990s.
- I am giving him less screen time and more time outside.
I had a fail-mom moment when I realized I hadn’t signed up my 4-year-old son for swim lessons and summer camp by the deadline. His daycare was closed for the summer, and I was caring for him part-time. I panicked at the chaos that lay ahead. I felt guilty that my son would miss out on core memory and important skills, and that I would have less free time to read and write in the piles of books piling up on his bedside table.
But last weekend, I watched my son play construction with the boys next door in the backyard. There was no plan, no gimmick, and they breezed through the afternoon. I sipped iced coffee in the sun and sneaked off to read a few chapters. We ate frozen pizza for dinner, and my son, exhausted from playing outside all day, went to sleep without protest.
I fondly remembered the magic of 1990s summers and wondered if millennials might have it all wrong. Maybe what makes a memorable summer isn’t an expensive vacation or a jam-packed schedule of pricey day camps or Montessori-inspired programs. Maybe it’s following in our parents’ footsteps and doing less to make space for more.
After that perfect afternoon, I wanted my son to have the kind of summers I experienced as a kid in the ’90s. Reminiscing about those long, lazy days before the internet, summers were a time for riding bikes, drawing pictures on the sidewalk with chalk, making daisy chains and friendship bracelets, running through sprinklers, and eating watermelon and popsicles.
Although the world is very different right now, I plan to bring this spirit into our summer by following these philosophies.
I’m boring him
My TikTok algorithm serves up a daily stream of fun, educational activities to do at home with my son, and because I want the best for him (and really just want some quiet time), I’ve tried out many of them.
I usually get annoyed when an activity just doesn’t go as planned and I only have five minutes to move on to the next activity.
Instead of desperately trying to fill every minute, I plan to leave room for boredom. As a child, I fell in love with reading on those long, boring summer afternoons, and I want to give my son the same opportunity to have fun out of thin air and let his imagination fly.
Less screen time, more time outdoors
I’m not one to be hung up on screen time, but this summer I plan to turn off the TV and spend more time playing in the yard, walking to get ice cream, swimming at the public pool, or spending a day at the beach. There’s less yelling when I’m parenting outside, and the fresh air has done wonders for my son’s sleep and mood.
But I wouldn’t turn down an evening screening of ’90s summer classics like The Sandlot, My Girl, or Beyond the Fused (while he’s asleep, of course).
Bringing Lazy Mom Dinner
I thrived, even though my parents didn’t pack me with all the organic meals in pretty lunchboxes. Summer seems to be a good time to feed your kids a little more lightly. That doesn’t mean you have to pack junk food, but it prioritizes play over making elaborate dinners they’ll never eat. He might have cereal, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or a bowl of cherries. It doesn’t matter. He’ll remember the summers when Mommy let him drink from the hose, dig for earthworms, and play outside for what seemed like forever.
Liz is a Canadian essayist writing about motherhood and mental health, living in Vancouver with her husband and son. lizjhammond.com And @lizz__hammond.
