Tom Yawkey and his wife, Jean. (Herald file photo)
History is the first born child of the Father of Time.
But unlike his father, History is not undefeated and unconcluded.
Father time always finds you.
History can remain hidden forever.
The history of Boston sports ownership is full of rogues, villains real and cartoon, Mr. Potter impersonators and generous, aloof billionaires.
One would think that John W. Henry would be more forgiving of history than the troublesome proletariat at the other end of the expectations curve.
Imagine you want your team to win every year.
“Linda, can you add another five feet to the fence around the Nantucket property?”
Henry and company will face further wrath if they don’t add a powerful right-handed hitter to the lineup and make some significant additions to their starting rotation before the trade deadline.
The Red Sox continued to thrive throughout Henry’s time as manager, but three last-place finishes in the past four years, the owner’s disdain for the masses who work to make a living and the boys who play Little League, and Henry’s refusal to speak publicly about the team all hurt the team’s performance.
History never sleeps, and the surest way for Henry to permanently ruin his legacy in Boston is for him/FSG to buy the Celtics and turn the defending NBA champions into the 2018 and beyond Red Sox.
Imagine the Seaport Celtics under team president Linda Pizzuti Henry: Boston’s DEI lineup would include several 5-foot-6 Hispanic, Asian, Native American and Pacific Islander players, offensive line leaders Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese, and Bronny James, who signed a $400 million supermax contract.
First player off the bench: Leah Thomas.
Everything is driven by AI.
Speaking of apocalyptic scenarios, imagine one day when the Celtics finish their lease on TD Garden, which runs through 2035, and the Everett Revs, Seaport Celtics, Boston Bruins and Red Sox play four games in a daytime evening.
And so T decides to take his own life.
By then, the Karen Reed trial should be over.
History has yet to render a final verdict on Boston Basketball Partners LLC’s ownership stake in the Grousbeck family on Causeway Street. On CNBC on Monday, Wyck made it clear that when the Celtics are sold, he would like to set the record for the most expensive professional sports franchise, beating the $6.1 billion paid for the NFL’s Commanders.
He delivered a spectacular left hook by saying he “expects” to remain in his role as team president after a new contract is signed.
Everything has a price.
And money matters.
shocking.
Compared to Red Sox owners going all the way back to the dastardly Harry Frazee, Henry is thoroughly Grousbeck-esque — for now.
Frazee laid the foundation for the Yankees’ first dynasty, which included Babe Ruth, Hall of Fame pitchers Waite Hoyt and Herb Pennock, and much of the lineup that dominated the early 1920s, all of whom were transferred from Boston to the Bronx.
Still, Dirty Harry isn’t the worst owner in Red Sox history, at least in terms of wins and losses. The worst owner was J.A. (Bob) Quinn, who bought the Red Sox in 1923. By the time he sold the Red Sox and Fenway Park to Tom Yawkey for $1.5 million in 1933, the team was struggling with money, losses and an exodus of fans.
Quinn would eventually sell the Boston Braves as well.
Yawkey, his widow and a trust in her name owned the Red Sox in some form for 69 seasons but never won a championship.
If you’re looking for “the worst owners in Boston history,” the Yaukies are the No. 1 seed.
Yawkey lavished his wealth on the best white players money could buy.
The Boston Braves, who were in the same division, merged with National League Rookie of the Year Sam Jethroe in 1950. The Yawkey Red Sox famously swatted away Jackie Robinson, Marvin Williams and Jethroe after the 1945 tryouts.
By the time the Red Sox integrated in 1959, every other MLB team, the entire NBA, and the Boston Bruins had also integrated.
Aside from Ted Williams and their postwar success in 1946, the Red Sox were dormant and underdogs from 1933 to 1967. Nobody cared.
Yawkey stuffed his front office with racists and cronies. After his death, Haywood Sullivan and Buddy “The Coup” Leroux joined Gene Yawkey to form the worst trio in baseball history. John Harrington handled Gene Yawkey’s death with aplomb.
Even the Jacobs family has only won one Stanley Cup in 49 years of frugality and ennui.
“We measure success in Stanley Cups,” Charlie Jacobs told the Globe’s Michael Silverman.
We couldn’t keep a straight face either.
The NHL’s salary cap system allows the Jacobs family to pretend they care, but they were more interested in squeezing all the money the Blades could find in the woods out of the Bruins, despite being able to acquire some of the best talent in the NHL for decades.
George Preston Marshall named the NFL team the Boston Redskins in 1933 because “Braves” was too confusing for locals. In 1937 the team moved to Washington. The lesser Billy Sullivan brought the AFL to Boston in 1960. Victor Kiam ran a disaster on Route 1 from 1988 to 1992. The response to the Lisa Olson incident still hangs over us like radioactive nuclear waste.
The Celtics have had 14 official owners over the years. Transnational Communications bought the Celtics in 1969. Woody Erdman turned the team into an ATM machine to pay off personal debts. Red Auerbach called him the “worst owner I’ve ever been involved with.” TNC went bankrupt and lost control of the team.
John Y. Brown (aka Y. John Brown?) was a KFC clown who treated the Celtics like a KFC franchise, and his shenanigans caused the Reds to head to New York and the fans to leave.
Paul “Thanks, Dad” Gaston was born with silverware in his mouth as he crossed home plate, then he fired Dave Gavitt, hired Rick Pitino, alienated Larry Bird and nearly ruined the franchise.
Meanwhile, Lou Pelini moved the Braves from Boston to Milwaukee in 1953.
At least the Celtics are staying. Hopefully it’s worth staying.
Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos at X) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.
