Thanks to the recent sunny skies and warm weather, all local political issues have been resolved.
“It’s truly amazing,” Mayor Tom Thompson said. “A little bit of sunlight accomplished what decades of political wrangling could not.” Residents were out on the streets and on the beach, some wearing shorts and T-shirts for the first time in months.
“I think this was the most fun borough council meeting we’ve had in 50 years,” resident Bob Boberts said. “The sun was still out and everyone was smiling and greeting each other warmly. I didn’t even get into a fight with Karen this week.”
Members of the public were attending the rally to protest Ordinance 43-1-$$-:) governing the financial use of money-related funds. “I came here to tell them what I think,” Bobaerts said. “Instead, we brought everyone an apple pie that the young lady had made.” The ordinance was controversial as recently as this week. “I realized it wasn’t that big of a deal. I don’t know what I was so passionate about in the first place,” Sherry Sherrington said.
“I really thought she hated my guts,” Mayor Thompson added. “But then we realized she probably had a severe vitamin D deficiency.”
“It’s a great day to be out,” said longtime resident Karen Kalemeluk. “And when I commented on the record-breaking temperatures, Bob said, “Isn’t global warming a big deal?” I would have cleared my throat as usual, but I was surprised by the pleasant sunshine and As I watched the hummingbirds fly by, I realized that conflating nationally focused rhetoric with my own personal relationship is leading to polarization and harmful discourse at the local level. .And it would have been a shame to argue on such a nice day.”
The council unanimously passed all ordinances, including the voluntary decision to designate April as Puppy and Wildflower Awareness Month.
Many residents were also seen removing bumper stickers from their cars. Jimmy Jimbeam says “!*%! “Beep beep ____ *unprintable*” from the truck.
NOAA predicts rain next week.
