We all know that raising children is no walk in the park. But can romanticizing your life (an idea that started as a social media trend) help ease the pressures of parenthood? When the deputy editor investigated…
Raising children is hard. From experiencing maternity when becoming a mother to dealing with the emotional strain of parenthood, the fact that bringing a new life into the world can wreak absolute havoc on your own life It’s a fact. Considering the impact that motherhood has on everything from your body image to your relationships, not to mention the hidden costs of raising a child and the lack of affordable childcare in the UK. No, but it’s no wonder that motherhood is often portrayed in quite negative terms.
But sometimes I wonder if we take the “trials of parenting” metaphor too far. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not downplaying the hard parts of being a mother. And I don’t agree with the “no more, buttercup” attitude that is sometimes thrown at mothers who voice the truth about how difficult parenting is.
However, raising children is a special privilege. And I feel like sometimes in trying to be so honest about the difficult parts of family life, that gets forgotten. When I mentioned this to a friend of mine recently, she joked that I was “romanticizing my life.” This is a word that describes an intentional way of living that aims to notice the beauty and joy that are often overlooked in the mundane routine of daily life.
Inspired, I decided to give it a try. As a mother of three, I’m guilty of rushing through many aspects of family life with a furrowed brow. Intrigued by the idea that focusing on the positives of parenting can improve your mood and increase your sense of well-being, I decided to give this social media trend a try. For seven days, I set myself the challenge of romanticizing my life as a working mother and simply trying to appreciate life’s little pleasures, and the results surprised me. Here’s what I learned…
Georgie is a passionate life design strategist who specializes in supporting high-performing female founders. Her expertise lies in reducing stress, improving business performance, and creating lasting personal happiness and fulfillment.
“Romanticizing your life is about finding the joy, hidden beauty, magic, significance and meaning in each day, and the purpose is to enhance your overall experience of life,” says Georgie, Life Design Strategist・Sears explains.
“Before, life may have seemed overwhelming, repetitive, boring or even unfulfilling, but this is a great way to rewire your brain into a growth mindset where you notice all the positive things. It helps. It allows you to be the hero of your life and move through it, which is very beneficial for improving your mental health, increasing your creativity, and increasing your sense of well-being.”
(Image credit: Heidi Scrimgeour)
Make your life romantic: 3 things I learned
1. It’s better to be grateful than to be grumpy.
I initially approached the “Romanticize Life” trend with a bit of irony. When the sound of her husband’s snoring woke her up, instead of poking her husband in the ribs and yelling, “Turn over!”, she gritted her teeth and offered the gift of her life partner. I imagined myself humbly grateful to the universe. As usual.
But instead I stopped and snuggled closer. Does snoring take on magical qualities when viewed through the lens of your more romantic approach to life? But stopping and thinking differently about the elements of family life that you instinctively groan about can be a powerful reframing. My snoring has become less bothersome than usual, and I’ve become overflowing with gratitude for human alarm clocks. How refreshing to start the day with a smile instead of a grumble.
Georgie reveals what was going on. “When you actively try to find the good in everything, you rewire your brain, telling your brain’s doorman (reticular activating system) what you want to see, allowing you to see more of it, and creating new neural networks. “Then you’ll naturally become optimistic and, dare I say it, ‘lucky’. Or you might just notice an opportunity you might have missed completely before!” she says. says.
“Today’s word… I’m so tired. Daddy usually does everything for me,” I typed.
2. It’s better to laugh than compete.
My husband is usually in charge of running the school, but since he was heading overseas on a business trip, he was especially busy in the mornings, taking our daughter to school, and then rushing to his desk for a 9 a.m. meeting. I returned. Later that day, I texted him to tell him something funny her daughter had said to her as I tried to push her daughter out the door, looking more confused than usual.
“Today’s word… I’m so tired. Daddy usually does everything for me,” I typed.
His response was immediate and witty. “Is that a quote from you or from our child?” I snorted loudly. Fair play; he worked more than his share of domestic labor in our house, and I felt his absence as much as his daughter did. Sometimes the person you’re spending most of your time with may need to be gone for you to know how much they’re doing when they’re there.
Georgie goes on to say, “By actively applying the habit of romanticizing your life, you become consciously aware of the moment. You become so grateful for what you have in the moment. You realize that you only get this piece once in a while, which increases the “feeling” of gratitude and calms your nervous system, which gives you more peace of mind and contentment. ”
Does stopping and recognizing the people in your life, where you sometimes discount their contributions, romanticize your life? Yes, I think so. Instead of whispering that I can’t be the only one to snooze on a 10-hour flight, I get witty exchanges and gentle reminders of how lucky I am to be married to someone who makes me coffee every day. I enjoyed it. morning. (And you always know where your PE kit is.)
(Image credit: Heidi Scrimgeour)
3. Food is more than just fuel
Confession: Raising a family of five is one of my least favorite aspects of motherhood. It can feel like a relentless, thankless job. I’ve been cooking meals for my kids for almost 20 years now, but I ran out of fun meal ideas a long time ago.
But while I was romanticizing my life as a mother, I bought all the ingredients I needed to make a hearty Irish stew just like I did when my kids were babies. Instead of shoving yet another co-op pizza in the oven or uselessly scattering salad leaves (which will no longer be edible) on my plate, I used my lunch break to prepare a feast. Roasting beef, chopping carrots, and peeling potatoes are tasks that I don’t think I have time for these days, but I can’t deny that I felt like I was spending a lot of time. Be careful if you like such phrases.
I still don’t know if the kids will eat it or appreciate the trouble I went through. But approaching dinner with less anger and more intention definitely lifted my spirits. Can I do this every day? No, but you can bring a little more romance to family mealtimes. Romanticizing this element of my life reminded me that mealtimes aren’t just a time obligation. They are an opportunity to grow my tribe.
“As busy moms, we often try to get everything done in order to move on to the next ‘task’ that we don’t take the time to understand exactly where we are. And our children are doing this without us even realizing it. It’s huge and those days are over,” Georgie agrees.
“And we often forget about ourselves in our roles as mothers. But we can practice putting ourselves in charge of our lives and actively romanticizing our lives. This will help you reconnect with your emotions.”Introduce new routines and rituals into your daily life to enhance your creativity and your whole authentic self. When you incorporate it, you can naturally break out of the autopilot of your usual routine and create a new wave of creativity by romanticizing your life. Your life may have been forgotten for a long time. ”
Romancing my life as a mother has made me happier, calmer, less stressed, more mindful and resourceful. That’s why I’m going to continue to romanticize my life. how? Instead of sinking into the couch at the end of the day, taking a deep breath and reaching for a glass of Sauvignon, I decided to put my feet up and take a few minutes to reflect on the day’s accomplishments.
And speaking of new routines, instead of shoving chips into my mouth at my desk, I’m wandering the trails to say hello to the local alpacas on my lunch break. Imagine having an alpaca farm near you and not having the opportunity to greet the alpacas on a regular basis.
(Image credit: Heidi Scrimgeour)
Most of all, my tendency to romanticize my life has reminded me that guzzling coffee at my desk doesn’t start my day. Instead, sit outside for five minutes every morning and enjoy the moment. This was a huge change for my mood and productivity. When you sit down at your desk, you’re ready to focus instead of exhausted.
“Be realistic. You won’t be able to feel positive every moment of every day, but you will find it easier and easier to find joy in everything,” Georgie adds. “What’s not to love?”
I started this experiment laughing at the absurdity of the idea of romanticizing my life when I’m a busy working mom. But I want to end this story with the conviction that this way of life is the key to unlocking even more of the joy of parenthood that so many of us expect.
How to make your life as a mother romantic
Life design strategist Georgie Sears shares six tips for romanticizing your life.
- Please set your alarm 10 minutes early – Don’t look at your phone. Instead, use this time for yourself, wake up and be grateful for a new chance to live on this beautiful planet. Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and breathe in a fresh new day full of opportunities. Just a few minutes of conscious breathing and checking in with yourself can make a big difference in your day.
- Take a mental snapshot – Pay attention to your child’s clothing sizes when folding clothes or organizing laundry. Be prepared to be huge someday. Let’s cherish those memories.
- Cherish the chaos of family mealtimes – And the requirement to make different food for everyone! The day will come when you too will look back on this time fondly. It’ll be over in no time. It’s easier than arguing or scraping uneaten food into the trash can.
- Let’s create a little ritual – Just for you, whenever you can. Stand on one leg for 30 seconds to 1 minute while brushing your teeth. Treat this as time you give yourself that your “future you” will appreciate. We get groggy as we get older, so working on your balance is a real gift to yourself, and a great opportunity to spend that time when you’re standing there anyway.
- A walk after dinner It’s okay to bribe your kids with biscuits or something, but the special time you spend together should be appreciated. You can also be grateful for the opportunity to move after eating, as it’s great for both mind and body.
- Take a mental picture every time you hear children laughing – Or when everyone saw something and laughed at the same time. These are the truths of life. No matter how confused and busy we feel.
You might enjoy it if it makes you think about your life differently 10 things I’ve learned about love after 25 years of marriage or “When their idea of heaven is your idea of hell” – Alex Jones, thanks for the reminder What is a family trip?.If you want to know more about motherhood, please check it out. Gina Ford’s controversial parenting book is making a comeback like all good ’90s trends – here’s why I loved it Or, for more candid parenting confessions, read why I regret hitting my children.It would have been stopped if it had been banned.
