There are a lot of things to be mindful of when dating, especially when you first start dating.
While some behaviors, like lovebombing, are absolute red flags for a potentially bad partner, others could be a sign that the other person doesn’t want a relationship.
There’s a lot of terminology out there, and it’s easy to get confused.
Most of us have heard of the term ghosting, which means just stopping responding to someone’s messages without officially cutting ties.
Unfortunately, many of us have been on the receiving end of it, and some of us have even been the ones doing the ghosting.
There’s also “breadcrumbing,” the old-fashioned term for “leading someone along,” but now there’s another term that’s more specific.
Luckily for you, I’m Aristotle, guiding your Dante through the nine blows of Hell, and I’m here to explain.
Dating can be a dangerous place. (Alina Rudiya/Bell Collective/Getty)
The term for this is called “pocketing” and it’s definitely something to watch out for.
Unlike the others, this term arises when you get past the swiping and awkward first encounters and into that weird pre-relationship state.
You see, it’s more than just a fling, but not yet a dating or relationship – it’s a situationship.
At this point, you may want to take your relationship with your new significant other further, but when you try to introduce them to your friends and family, they always seem to have an excuse.
And while you may be posting their photos on your Instagram stories, you find yourself as absent from their social media pages as the generals who pissed off Stalin.
If this happens, congratulations, you are now “in the pocket.”
Dating comes with its own set of pitfalls. (Cultura RM Exclusive/Robin James via Getty)
This is when a person becomes distant and unwilling to introduce their new partner to friends and family.
Of course, you are welcome to stay over at your house after dinner.
There are many reasons why someone might do something like this, and to be fair, some of them are not unreasonable.
Maybe someone struggles with commitment issues or just isn’t good at communicating.
They may just not want or feel like a more serious relationship anymore.
But whatever the reason, the best solution is for both parties to communicate clearly and honestly about what they want.
If you think someone is doing this, ask them what they want from a new relationship.
If they want to take it further, that’s great, if not, at least you’re not being fooled.
