- Simen Pratu and his wife, Jen, are raising their two children, aged one and three, on the Indonesian island of Bali.
- Platou grew up in Norway and moved to the island in 2011.
- He says he draws on his own upbringing and Asian parenting styles to help raise his children.
This essay is based on a conversation with Simen Pratu, a 38-year-old Norwegian living in Bali. YouTube Channel About family life on the island. This essay has been edited for length and clarity.
I met my wife, Jen, in Bali nine years ago.
She is of Indonesian descent and had just moved to Bali from Florida for a marketing internship. I have been living in Bali since February 2011.
We fell in love at first sight and after four years of dating we decided to get married, and neither of us had any intention of leaving Bali. Their daughter, Nia, was born in 2021, followed by their son, Koji, in November of the following year.
Now, I am learning to incorporate both Asian and Western parenting styles in raising my children.
When I was growing up in Norway, my parents were strict but level-headed at the same time, and Norway was a safe country with a low crime rate, so I was pretty independent as a child.
By the age of 4 or 5, I was leaving the house by myself to walk around the neighborhood and meet up with friends. We lived right next to a forest in Oslo, and we would often spend the afternoon playing there.
Local children in Bali You can do that, but it’s difficult to get around Bali on foot.
There aren’t many decent sidewalks, kids have to watch out for traffic, and right now my kids are too little to go out alone.
I noticed that Asian families seem to be close-knit.
Here, parents often sleep for long periods with their young children, and in Norway it is common to sleep train and wait for the child to stop crying.
We tried it with our kids and it didn’t work, so now we all sleep together as a family, even though we don’t get as much sleep.
We are also close with our relatives, including my wife’s sister and mother who live in Bali.
Our nanny is part of our family, she has been there since my daughter was born, and we try to raise our children in a more community-like environment than you might have in the West.
Our parents are also fully supportive of our choice – they still live in Norway and have been to Bali three times.
But we try not to spoil our kids too much.
I want my children to be independent and believe in themselves. My daughter is 3 and I let her use scissors as long as she knows how to use them properly.
I also want my children to know that they are always loved. My wife and I tell our children that we love them very much. In Norway, parents show affection but it is not very common for them to say it out loud.
We are trying to raise our children in a multicultural home.
I speak Norwegian to my kids, Jen speaks Norwegian to her kids. English. Our kids speak Indonesian with Jen’s mom, the nanny, and our neighbors.
It can sometimes be confusing to communicate because I’m the only one who speaks Norwegian, and my daughter understands everything but responds in English.
It would be easier to speak in English, but I think if I am consistent, one day she will respond to me in Norwegian.
Growing up in Bali can feel a bit isolating. Expat kids tend to go to international schools rather than local schools, and although our children have Balinese friends, they are never fully integrated into the local culture, which has strong customs and traditions.
I’ve been living here for 13 years now and I’ve always been seen as a foreigner. I have Balinese friends, but I don’t take part in all the things that go on in the neighborhood, like their traditional ceremonies and cultural practices, so I’ve always been somewhat of an outsider.
Overall, I think it’s easier to raise children here than in Norway.
It’s mainly because we can afford to hire someone to clean the house and look after the kids. Our nanny helps out until 1pm every day.
We can afford to do a lot of things that we wouldn’t be able to do in Norway, like eating out more or ordering food delivery more.
Bali is a great place for kids to grow up. We go to the beach and playgrounds on weekends. I have friends with kids so we often go to someone’s house to play. There are no dark and cold winters.
That’s a quality life.
