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Marrying or dating someone who is more successful or wealthy than you is a long-standing dating trend.
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Yet, despite being a practice that dates back decades, even centuries, it has been resurrected as a term known as “hypergamy.”
Because marrying for love and marrying for security are two different things.
“Hypergamy, a sociological term that refers to marrying someone of higher economic, social or financial status than oneself, is still common in some modern societies and cultures, and there is a competitive drive, especially among women, to marry the men with the highest status and power,” explained clinical psychologist Lori Beth Bisbey.
“In modern society, we are also seeing more men engaging in hypergamy, but this is still mostly seen in women seeking higher status men,” she added.
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“As always, there is pressure on men to appear high status, there is pressure on working-class men, and there is pressure on both men hoping to find upper-class women to marry and women hoping to find them to be who they appear to be.”
A survey of 2,000 American adults conducted by Talker Research found that 40% of respondents would consider a partner who exhibits hypergamic traits more attractive.
Additionally, 39% of respondents believe that finding a partner who displays hypergamic traits would contribute greatly to their personal growth and discovery.
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Nearly half of those surveyed (47%) consider it a “luxury” for someone to want to learn more about their background and have an in-depth, intellectual conversation.
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Since hypergamy is synonymous with success and wealth, it’s not surprising that 39% of people believe their hypergamous dater should pay for the entire date.
Being “engrossed” is also an important factor, at least for 65% of respondents.
However, 35% of people believe that a bad first date will doom the relationship.
A staggering 80% of people find it more attractive when their date shows confidence, 75% want their date to be proud of their achievements in life (75%), and a further 73% want their partner to “go above and beyond” for them on a first date.
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The data also revealed that many of the respondents are curious about modern-day “hypergamy,” with 45% saying it’s OK to show off your success or wealth on a first date and 31% agreeing that financial success is a big or important factor in a person’s attractiveness.
“When people are looking for a meaningful connection or relationship, they want someone who matches their intelligence and has ambitions in life,” says Emma Hathorne, dating and relationships expert at Seeking.com.
“Showcasing that ambition and pampering your date sets the bar for the relationship – it’s time to say goodbye to normal dating,” she continued.
“People want to feel elevated, both in the conversation itself and by receiving something that’s made just for them.”
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