BALTIMORE — You’ve probably heard of football player Torrey Smith.
He was a sure-footed receiver for the Ravens and played a key role in leading Baltimore to a Super Bowl title in early 2013 before winning his second NFL crown with the Eagles in February 2018.
Have you heard of baseball player Torrey Smith?
Baseball was Smith’s favorite sport, but he quit because it was too expensive.
“I was super competitive,” Smith told USA Today Sports, “and then when I got to high school and really started to understand what money meant, I was like, ‘Oh man, I can’t keep doing this.'”
“The (baseball) team was like, ‘No, we’ll pay for you to play,’ but I had to spend countless weekends, fall and spring, living off other people’s money… I felt embarrassed having to stay with other people’s parents all the time, knowing that my parents really weren’t helping me out that much.”
Smith’s life was at a crossroads, much like the lives of the kids he now works with through Level 82, an organization he founded to help families and communities in Baltimore.
Smith chose football, which eventually led to a scholarship at the University of Maryland and an eight-year NFL career.
But his situation really forced him to make a choice.
Smith frequently moved from shelters to hotels and other temporary housing in rural Virginia, where her mother, Monica, was in an abusive marriage and the home was terrorized by drug abuse and physical violence.
Sports became his outlet, his escape. Children need a place to not only enjoy sports, but also to feel safe.
“I don’t think people really understand how important it is to just be. usually“I’m not a racist,” he told the audience earlier this month onstage at the UA House Project Play Summit, which serves the city’s youth.
Smith, 35, is married and has three school-age children and lives outside Baltimore, where he and his wife, Chanel, run an organization that helps hundreds of inner-city kids have access to the kinds of sports opportunities that have had such a major impact on his life.
Level 82 is an acronym for Leadership, Education, Vision, Hard Work and Love, plus his football jersey number, and Smith talks about how these core values can benefit all kids through participation in sports, regardless of economic background.
(Questions and answers have been edited for length and clarity.)
1. Leadership: As a parent or coach, know that your kids are always watching.
Mr. Smith grew up a nomadic lifestyle around Northeast Virginia’s Northern Neck: He estimates his family had moved 20 times by the time he was 16. The eldest of seven children, he was a father figure in an unstable household.
For stability, he turned to his coaches and teachers, the men who drove him home from practice every day when his mother worked two jobs. He watched how they spoke to his wife and didn’t become physically violent. He watched how his first black coach, Greg Daniel, behaved and welcomed his young son into his family.
He carried all those cues with him into parenthood.
“Kids are watching you more than they’re listening to you,” Smith says.
USA TODAY: How did the events that happened to you growing up influence you as a parent and mentor?
Torrey Smith: A lot of parents mean well, but there’s no manual. Even as sports parents, we’ve had to learn how to adapt. We expect to be disciplined, we expect to be respectful. That’s our household values. So, when we’re playing sports, we want to see the exact same thing. But how we got to that point was a big growth for me. It was learning from other parents, observing, asking a lot of questions, trial and error, figuring out what works best. And I think our kids are really at a stage now, even though they’re still very young, where they’re really growing up. And I think they’re able to connect the dots of what we really want on and off the field.
2. Education: Sports and school inspire each other. In both cases, you can learn from failure.
Smith’s mother never allowed her son’s grades to slip, no matter what the circumstances.
“I got a C on a midterm one time,” Smith said, “so my teacher dropped me from the basketball team.”
If you’ve ever been an athlete, you know that dedication to your team and the determination to stay on the team leads to better performance.
Through Project Rampart, which provides sportswear to Baltimore high school teams, Under Armour claims that if kids play sports for four years, the city’s graduation rate will increase from 70% to nearly 93%.
Even though she has young children — son TJ, 10, son Kameron, 7, and daughter Cori, 5 — Smith understands that sports and doing well in school feed into each other.
USA TODAY: Are you involved in your children’s sports?
TS: All of them. It’s interesting just watching the kids. All of our kids are doing really well in school. They’re doing really well in sports. You see the growth. And we put them in a more challenging environment. I think a lot of parents and kids want a comfortable environment. But I’ve learned throughout my life playing sports that growth doesn’t happen in a comfortable environment.
I treat everyone equally. When my son is not working, he is standing right next to me. I don’t play “daddy ball.” It’s not about that. It’s about understanding that if you don’t do your job well, you don’t get a chance.
That’s how life is. We give our kids the opportunity to make mistakes. They don’t have to be perfect, but I’m big on teaching my kids that you can’t just do what you want to do and expect good things to happen. You have to work. You have to be disciplined. You have to do your work. And our kids grow. It’s built over time, it’s built through relationships. Now the kids come in and they’re excited…”Coach, I did it. I had a great day at school. I did really well on my test. I studied and I worked hard for it.” The win is that the kids understand that the habits you get from sports can help you a lot if you really believe in it.
3. Vision: Have a positive image of what you want to become
Smith saw himself in the faces of the kids he coached in West Baltimore. They were desperate for connection. And he reached out.
He remembers having conversations with his coaches growing up about always being of good character, and these conversations helped him clarify his own vision for life.
USA Today: circleGiven your sporting success, what do you expect from your children?
TS: Be yourself. I don’t care. You don’t have to play sports. If you just want to be in the band, you better give it all you can. I didn’t want them to play soccer right away. My wife said, “No, they should play.” And they love soccer. They want to go to training. These are not things I imposed on them. For the first eight years, they just played catch with my son. They never practiced. They never did anything except coaching. They never spent extra time on it. Now he wants to do those things. The goal and expectation I have for them is to be the best version of themselves and to know that no matter how far they go, whether it’s short term or long term, we will always support them.
4. Effort: Don’t pamper your child, but let them face adversity.
“I’m not gonna lie,” Smith told local broadcaster Rob Long onstage at the Project Play Summit, “but raising privileged kids when you weren’t privileged growing up is a big deal.” task. “
Many in the crowd laughed.
“I’m serious,” he said, “I want my kids to learn the life lessons that I had without the trauma, and the best way for them to learn that is through sports and through challenges.”
One way we can always challenge ourselves is by working hard. Hard work produces winners, but it also allows us to bounce back from losses.
USA TODAY: Greg Olson talked about prioritizing development over winning. How easy is that to implement?
TS: Winning is a by-product of doing things the right way. So no matter how talented your kid or group of kids is, if they do things the right way — if they’re disciplined, if they follow instructions, if they play hard — you’re going to win. I’m not saying we want to lose, but the important thing is, are they getting better? Winning isn’t the only measure of success.
Some of the kids in our 7-on-7 program have never lost a youth game, so when they lose, they’re like, ‘Oh my God, the world has ended.’ I say, ‘That’s life. Things happen. How do you react?’
I love adversity, and I think we spoil kids too much when they have to overcome these hardships in order to become better players, and more importantly, better people.
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5. Love: Show your children love and let them create their own experiences.
The emotional scars from Smith’s childhood remain with him to this day. Before he met his wife, he was reluctant to tell someone he loved them. For Smith, love is an action.
We show that when we take our kids to practices and games, but perhaps more importantly, we don’t push them too hard when the game doesn’t go their way.
USA TODAY: What kind of coach and sports parent are you?
TS: I learned not to tell my kids about bad games.. If it’s a good game, I’ll hype my players up. If it’s a bad game, I won’t talk about it right away. I’ll talk about it later. No matter what players you’re coaching, when you’re coaching kids, it’s always important to remember that it’s your kid.
Coach Steve:College coaches often pass on kids because of their parents. What not to do
USA TODAY: What advice would you give to parents who are raising athletes or parents who are raising their kids through sports?
TS: Let your child be themselves. Let them run at their own pace. Often it is the parents who want them to speed up this force or do certain things. …That doesn’t happen. I don’t support forcing children to do anything but team activities. Once outside, we work. We don’t allow slacking. If your child wants more, keep feeding them, watering the plants, and let them keep growing.
USA TODAY: Yes, and don’t pressure them.
TS: No pressure. … Pressure should come from a place of, “I want you to have the respect of my coaches and my teammates. I don’t expect you to go undefeated. I don’t expect 20 points, 20 goals, three touchdowns a game. I just want you to do your best.”
Editor’s note: If you can’t find a team or sports program, check out your local YMCA or recreation center. There may be free-play organizations in your area, like Volo Kids. You can also find organizations like Every Kid Sports and Leveling the Playing Field, which cover registration fees and provide equipment for families on limited incomes.
Steve Borelli, aka Coach Steve, has been an editor and writer for USA TODAY since 1999. For 10 years he coached his two sons’ baseball and basketball teams. Today, he and his wife, Colleen, coach high school and middle school sports. His column appears weekly. Past columns are here.
